Wot's Goin' On In Vis Weird Ci'y?
by soulfusionresonance
Summary: This is, so far, the only Crossover between JTHM and Gorillaz. Nny returns from his 'vacation', gets a Brainfreezy, and almost runs right into 2D. Wot 'appens? M, 'cos i's JTHM.
1. So, Wot Jes' 'Appened?

_Hmm…I wonder how much has changed in three years…I wonder if Squeegee still lives next door…I hope so…it'd be nice to still have someone to talk to every once in a while…I wonder how __**she**__ is doing…though, if I remember correctly, and when it comes to __**Her**__, I always do, __**she**__ can take care of herself…I still have the scars from that one time…Devi…she no longer works at Pendragon Books, I know that…I'd love to take back what I did, but I know that's impossible…God, I've missed her…but, I also know I've lost my chance…my __**only**__ chance to be happy…and got my ass kicked…and she slammed my face into a mirror…but, I deserved that…oh, well…it seems that I'm home…I think I'll check on Squee before I go in…_

Nny got out of the piece of shit he called a car and walked over to the window he remembered as Squee's, only to find it empty save for one box in the center of the room with a note on top when he looked inside. He climbed inside the window that seemed to have been left unlocked the entire time he'd been gone (he tested the lock himself. It was rusted and stuck in the 'unlocked' position), and began to read the note.

It read:

'_Kid_

_You ruined my life, and I've decided that I'm done working just to feed you and clothe you. Your mother obviously doesn't care about you either, seeing as she constantly forgets about your very existence. We're moving. This box contains all of your clothes that we couldn't manage to sell, that stupid patchwork bear of yours, seeing as no one wanted it, and enough money to last you three months on your own when you get out of the Defective Head Meat Institute, if you ever get out. We never want to see you again. Our lives will be much better off without you. You are the most worthless piece of shit I've ever seen, and I honestly hope you die before three months have passed, or that you rot in that fucking asylum. Do the world a fucking favor._

_Quentin Casil_ '

This, predictably, pissed Johnny off. He could barely contain his rage, and had no outlet for it, seeing as the sacks of shit that dared to call themselves Squee's parents had left, abandoning little Squee in some godforsaken _mental_ _institution_!

_How dare they! If I ever see their worthless faces, I swear to god, they won't __**have**__ faces for very long! I need to get Squee out of that place! Squee is in no way mentally unstable! Excessively over-paranoid, yes; unstable? __**Definitely**__ not. If I see them, they will pay!_

Nny went over to his house, fuming the entire way. He was going to calm down as best he could, then he was going to go to the Defective Head Meat Institute and retrieve his friend. But, first, he was going to find some money, and get himself a Brainfreezy. Or some Fizz-Whiz. It really depended on the time, now that he knew the 24/7 had both. And the largest size of both cost only R$5 (Brazilian currency. The real. Pronounced 'ray-all'. This is approximately $2). He honestly didn't care which he got, even if he preferred Brainfreezys, he just needed a cherry-flavored drink right now.

He descended into his basement, stepping over the corpse of Jimmy, the demented, copycat stalker that Nny had killed three years prior, not long before disembarking on his mad quest to become completely emotionless, like Mr. Samsa. He'd given up about a year ago, when it became obvious that nothing he tried was going to work. Now, Nny simply focused on being Nny. After Mr. Fuck and Psychodoughboy were destroyed, and Nailbunny had disappeared, then Reverend Meat went away after Nny gave up on being emotionless, he'd felt good having a mind free of voices other than his own, though he kind of missed Nailbunny. He reached his desk and pulled out a wad of cash, took five bills, then tossed the rest back in the desk and shut the drawer.

He ascended the staircase and went out to his car, then drove down to the 24/7. He looked down at the clock on his radio, which read 12:30. Giving him half an hour before the Brainfreezy machine got turned off. He went in and grabbed the largest size, placed it under the Cherry Doom dispenser, and held down the switch on the nozzle. Nothing happened.

"Excuse me, the Brainfreezy machine's not working."

"Yeah, they're gonna have to replace the inside of that thing soon. Usually, all you have to do is jiggle the switch until it starts dispensing. That machine's getting pretty old."

"Ah. Thank you. And, yes, it is. I left this town for a vacation three years ago and that machine was there for years _before_ I left."

"Oh? You're a local?"

"Yes. Johnny C. But, you can call me Nny for short."

"Nny? Odd name…But, who am I to talk? My mother thought it'd be funny to name me 'Anthrax'. Like the band. I just go by Thrax now. Still weird, but not _as_ weird."

"Thrax, huh? Like the virus guy from that animated film _Osmosis Jones_?"

"I never really noticed that before…That's cool…"

"Indeed. If I could have chosen my own name when I was born, I probably would have chosen Loki, Wesker, or Wade."

"Wade? I recognise the other two, The Norse God of Mischief and the bad guy from the first _Resident Evil_ video game and the fourth movie, _Afterlife_, but why 'Wade'?"

"Wade Wilson. Deadpool."

"Ah. So, just the Freezy?"

"Yes, just this."

"That'll be R$5." He handed the crumpled bills to the clerk, then went to leave, but, instead, almost walked into a man five inches taller than his own 5'9. The man had a shock of bright, blue hair, similar to the color of Nny's, but much brighter; eyes so black that it looked as though they were empty sockets; no front teeth; a lanky frame; and a little bit of short, untrimmed hair just above his mouth, making it look as though he'd just begun attempting to grow a mustache. He opened his mouth to apologise, and when he spoke, he had the highest-pitched, most warbly voice Nny had ever heard coming from the mouth of a male, and the most cockney British accent that Nny had ever heard from _anyone_.

"'M sowry, Ah dinna mean ta block yowr way. 'M jes' furs'y. Aw'l gi' oucha way, now."

"Did you say…thirsty?" The man nodded. "I recommend the Cherry Doom Brainfreezys. They're really the only thing worth buying here, except Fizz-Whiz."

"Fanks, ma'e."

"No problem." Nny looked the man over and said, "You look awfully familiar, though I know for a fact I've never met you. What's your name?"

"2D. Lead singah an' keybowds fo' ve Gorillaz."

"Ah. Of course. I'm Johnny C. but you can call me 'Nny' for short."

"Nice ta meecha, Nny." He extended his hand, as if to shake.

"Sorry, I'm not very good with physical contact. I haven't been for years."

"Oh…" he said, retracting his hand. "Sowry…"

"No problem. But, why are you in Brazil?"

"Muhdoc called us 'ere ta make a grea'is' 'its album."

"Ooh. Sounds like fun. Well, don't let me delay you any longer, I'm sure the demon bassist will attack you if you're gone for too long."

"Prolly. Bu' Muhdoc means wewl. Usually." He raised his left hand to scratch the back of his head, and Nny noticed a glint off his ring finger.

"Is that…what I think it is? On your left hand?"

"Wot, vis?" he asked, showing Nny that it was, indeed, a wedding band.

"Yes. That. You're…married…"

"Wewl, me an' New-do' fawt vat…we'd been seein' each uvver for a coupla years, so…"

"Noodle? _The guitarist_?"

"Er…yeah…"

"I suppose the world saw that one coming…well, have a nice night, Mr. Pot."

"Eh?"

"That _is_ your real name, isn't it? Stuart Pot?"

"Oh, yeah. Sowry…"

"Nah. Maybe I'll see you around."

"'K. See ya." 2D walked into the 24/7, and Nny walked to his car, thinking along the way, _Well, that was interesting. The Gorillaz are real people._

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah...Squee's dad needed a name...and Quentin was the first dorky name I thought of...I didn't want Mr. Casil to have a cool name...Mrs. Casil will not have a first name...in fact, I may never mention them again after Nny informs little Squeegee that the shitsacks that called themselves his parents moved away and left him to rot in the Defective Head Meat Institute...unless it's to die a horrible death at Nny's hands...<strong>

**Please review. I need to know if you liked it, and if there's anything I'm doing wrong. I may throw Alucard from Hellsing into a later chapter, just for the fuck of it, because he's just that awesome.**

**I made 2D's accent as Cockney as I possibly could. I was laughing my ass off writing it. And yes, Dents and Noodle got married. I's jes' mo' fun vat way.**

**さよなら (Goodbye).**


	2. Ve Awl-Seein' New-do!

2D walked over to the 'Brainfreezy', as the man had referred to the slush drink, machine, and instantly noticed that he had been right. Cherry Doom really _was_ the only flavor that sounded appealing. 'Icy Ham' sounded like an entrée, and 'Frosted Peanut' just sounded terrible. So, he just grabbed a cup and fiddled with the machine until it worked, and looked around for _anything_ he thought Noodle might like. Then he seemed to recognise something on one of the shelves.

"Izzat…_Pocky_?" He looked closer at it. "Bloody 'Ell, i' is."

He grabbed a box of Pocky and a lid and straw for his drink, then headed up to the counter and paid, leaving the clerk to ponder the fact that someone had bought something _other_ than a Brainfreezy.

When he got back to their temporary residence, he called out, "Li'l Love, I gotcha somefink!"

"Oh, really? What could you have possibly found in Brazil that could interest-" She stopped short at noticing the box he was dangling just inches in front of her nose, eyes widening as she realised that she recognised it. "Pocky! Stu, how in the world did you find _Pocky_ in _Brazil_?"

"Ah jes' wen' ta gi' me sumfin' to drink, an' I no'iced i' on ve shewlf b'ind me. Ah decided ta gi' it, 'cos I knew you'd enjoy i'."

"Stuart, you are the sweetest person I've ever met. And I have met some very nice people."

"Aww, fanks love."

"Oi, Faceache, wha's 'is I 'eard abou' fockin'?"

"You need to have your hearing checked, Murdoc-baka. What you heard was 'Pocky'. P-O-C-K-Y. It's a type of snack that originated in my homeland. It's basically a chocolate-coated biscuit stick. It's kinda like candy when you really think about it."

"Candy, eh? Lemme see."

"You may have _one_ Murdoc. Stu bought them for _me_, and Pocky is very difficult to find. In fact, this is actually the first time I've ever seen it outside of Japan. So you only get _one_. Understand?"

"Yeah, I ge' i'. I on'y wanted to know whotcha was so giddy abou'."

"Giddy?"

"Aye, giddy."

"I didn't think the word 'giddy' was a part of your vocabulary, Murdoc."

"'M full o' surprises."

"Right…even though I can usually predict your entire day."

"Ya can_not_."

"Can _too_."

"Prove i' then. Me day tomorreh, wha's i' gonna be like, eh?"

"Get up, immediately reach for the liquor, get some work done on the album, get completely shitfaced, try to find an easy shag, then either get laid and kick her out the next morning, or don't get any, and attack Stu the moment you come back drunk and alone, then head to your room and pass out, and wake up with a hangover in the morning, only to do the same thing over again."

"Uh…"

"I just described half of your life, didn't I?"

"Er…Sorta…"

"Murdoc, you are the most predictable person I know."

"Whateva. I don' hafta take 'is. I'm goin' to bed."

"Goodnight Murdoc."

"Yea, 'night Mudz."

He grunted in response, not even bothering to look back as he walked through the door.

"You know, Stu, we should probably get to bed, too."

"Yea, Ah know. Le's go, love."

* * *

><p>I figured I should give this an entire chaptre by i'self. I's funny, no?<p>

_Next time on 'Wot's Goin' On In Vis Weird Ci'y': Squee!_

Also, I think I'm going to start the 'music trivia' thing I've written about on my profile (as soon as I get a song or two in one of my fics).

Scores will always be posted on my profile page, not in my stories.

_Ciao!_


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